IT'S THE TRIUMPHANT RETURN OF BOBBY FRIGGIN' MERCER! Okay. Maybe not officially. But there ain't no damn way you're going to convince me that this isn't a sequel to the excellent revenge thriller Four Brothers. I mean-- just look at Mark Wahlberg. He's playing the same character but in a slapstick comedy. I don't care if he's got a different name in Daddy's Home. Okay so this is what happens. Bobby is a drifter/thug right? Right? It's not too far fetched he'd be the type to get a one-night stand pregnant on his travels. And he probably didn't even use his real name. Then years later he finds out he's got kids and wants to be a part of their lives because his real parents abandoned him. So he rushes to their side as soon as he can and boom! There's the movie. Half of my enjoyment from this movie is going to be imagining they're the same guy.
If I've accomplished anything today I hope it's that I've planted that seed in your head so deep you won't be able to think about it when you go watch the movie. You are welcome.
Hitman: Agent 47
I have to admit I haven't played the games much at all but I've always had a respect for the franchise as a stylish stealth/murder simulator. It remains a powerful video game franchise to this day. That said, I was more interested in the movie based on the first trailer. That trailer made it seem more like Agent 47 was going to be the antagonist and the bad guy. Think Terminator more than Terminator 2. That's infinitely more interesting to me than making another "good guy assassin turning on those who made him a killer" story we get every other week. If anything it would be a different change of pace than the usual video game movie crap that releases every couple years. That said, while the plot looks generic and cliched the action sequences look pretty slick. If nothing else this'll be a rainy Netflix day viewing.
Sleeping With Other People
Jason Sudeikis and Alison Brie are both incredibly funny people that can actually make me laugh out loud. It appears they have great chemistry together and the supporting cast looks pretty solid too. Especially Orange is the New Black's Natasha Lyonne who's in the "best friend" role. Looks like a solid date movie. Although I'm not sure it's a "first date movie." You might want to leave that to one of the other movies that had trailers this week like...
The Green Inferno
I was kidding. Don't bring a date to this movie. I mean I like cannibals eating facebook activists just as much as the next guy but this just doesn't look appealing. Torture porn isn't my thing. If it's your thing-- well you do you buckaroos. I'm going to sit over here and not judge you. *judges you silently.*
So that leaves us with Michael Fassbender and Marion Cotilliard bringing Macbeth to the screen once again. The very next sentence I say will not be sarcastic whatsoever. Oh hell yes. Then we got the trailer for Final Girl starring Abigail Breslin, another Mission Impossible: Rogue Nation trailer, and the "based on a true story" Masterminds with Kristen Wiig and thinner Zach Galifinackis. Which, I actually did watch a documentary about the heist it's based on. Basically a bunch of guards decided to rob the cash they were guarding. That's really about the extent of it. Using that logic the Ninja Turtles are based on a true story as I'm sure four brothers ordered a pizza while in Brooklyn once. Two more movies round out the list tonight. the next Paranormal Craptivity which seems to have gone meta where it's a found footage film heavily featuring two guys watching a found footage film. IT'S SO META YOU GUYS. If you're into cheap jump scares or have a girlfriend or boyfriend that are it's a watch. If not stay home and clean the basement. To round it out we got Tom Hardy gangster flick Legend. It'll be interesting to see how they balance the seriousness and the comedy. If they can strike a good balance we'll have something good. If not... well...
As always find me on twitter @MisterFroggie or leave a comment below. Nighty night.